Dramatis Personae

Firstborn (FB) 

On the verge of her sixth birthday.  A highly energetic, physical child.  Loves music and dance, space, dinosaurs, drawing and painting, and anything with wheels.  Loves the company of people, but struggles socially. Wants to be included and involved, but gets overwhelmed easily and breaks down.  Has true love/hate relationship with birthday parties, utterly terrified by any and all films, including G-movies.  Bossy as fuck, wants to be in charge of everything, thinks she's always right. (Terminal first child syndrome.)  Wants to be funny, but doesn't actually understand jokes.  Enjoys wordplay and puns.  Isn't interested in storybooks, only "information books."  Doesn't cope well with criticism, expects every thing to be done properly and every one to play by the rules.  Cat-like, gives affection only on her terms.


Secondborn (SB)

Chaotic, anarchic, entropic, also incredibly cheeful, affectionate, and cuddly.  Worships her big sister, likes whatever she likes.  Very bright and highly verbal (like her sister), but with a total disregard for authority.  A happy-go-lucky bull in a china shop, Secondborn dances to the tune of her own drum (or her sister's), careening through life, totally ignoring instructions or pleas for cooperation, smiling the entire time.  Strong natural sense of empathy, terrifyingly good people-skills, Secondborn gets away with murder by virtue of being impossibly delightful and charming.  Prone to passionate outbursts of emotion. Drama Queen.


Buckler-Of-SwasheS (BOSS) 

Him what sails the Seven Seas, Defender of Democracy, addict of Aston Martins, deity among daddies, cricket whore.  Honest as they come, profoundly hard-working, teetoal: see dictionary for  "straight arrow."  Articulate and gifted with original turns of phrase.  Does not express emotions readily, but certainly has them. Probably. Would like to be involved more in household matters, but is hamstrung by his wife's need for control and is thus constantly forced to evaluate what is more likely to earn the wife's ire, doing nothing, or doing the wrong thing?  Resolves the dilemma by being near to hand should he be wanted, but not actually doing anything until asked, and instead plays games on his phone.  Has absolutely no idea how good-looking he is.